Fourtieth Day - Challenge Tradition

So today is the last day we're going to pray for my Lola who passed away... well... 40 days ago. (Wow, time goes by so fast!) We'll be praying at six tonight (crap, I should probably invite my friends over soon or else my brother's gonna be the only one eating pizza... then again that's not really a problem for him). Until then, my mom and her boyfriend are chillin and watching TV in the living room while I'm on the dining table that we never use. My mom likes to have and display a lot of things that we never use: dishes, fancy cups, fake flowers, our piano - because I stopped playing that to do cross country at the beginning of high school. A lot of pretty wooden furniture from Japan, candles and even this wooden dining table.

So middle-class of us, I know.

But not anymore because I've claimed this place as my study area ;] The table is messy with books, my backpack, lotion, receipts - cause I'm too lazy to scrapbook them still - and my laptop :] Who cares if this place isn't tidied up, it's not like we ever really invite people over. Which makes even less sense to display so much. But that's my mom's logic for you.

Other than my mom, I really like her boyfriend. He's open-minded, sarcastic and usually has a smile on his face when I talk to him. And when it comes to explaining things, while my mom tells me "that's the way it is," he'd respond with reasoning. The "why it is the way it is." It was and is always annoying when my mom doesn't explain. But at least her boyfriend's there to complete her... and ease my annoyance.

No, I'm joking. Living with this for 20 years really helps me get used to it.

Anyway, after my Lola passed away, it was important that we prayed for her for the 9 following days. I don't know the significance behind the 9 days, nor do I know the significance of this 40th day. But my uncle, my mom's boyfriend, was saying he'll read the bible and find out.

Alright, you do that. And when you do, let me know. Because I'd like to know.

Well, I guess it's not really that important for me to find out. Cause otherwise I'd find out on my own. I'm not really into the whole following tradition thing. I don't like going over the rosary. If anyone else is listening, we sound like a cult going over the rosary. And I know, because I listened while sitting out for the first two days of praying. I know going over the rosary is a form of meditation and reassuring God that we forgive Lola for her sins, but is it the only way? I know everyone has their own preference of meditation and giving forgiveness.

Maybe using the rosary is just the standard or default of meditating and forgiving someone. If we don't know any other way or don't even want to bother knowing any other way, we go with this way.

Tradition.

Is that what tradition is for? Is tradition our default if we cannot come up with other ways to live?

Even if there is an answer to that, no one will tell you. No one says it's a default, because it is the norm. No need to question, just trust it. Just do it. You're doing the right thing, because it's always been done this way. It's safe, too. And usually applauded.

Yeah. Tradition and the norm keeps us safe. Keeps us comfortable. Will keep us stable. Sane.

But what if I don't like tradition? What if I don't trust the norm? What if I want to customize my life instead of sticking to default? What if I want to really question if what I'm doing is the right thing? What if I don't want to always play life safe, or keep comfortable? What if I don't believe that stability equals happiness? What if I believe there is possibly a higher level of sanity out there? And what if I could care less about the applause?

I've caused a lot of family issues. Hurt a lot of friends. And risked many possibilities of loneliness because of thinking this way.

But for some reason, I am blessed with wonderful people in my life.

And I guess... Until great pain shows me what I'm doing is wrong...

I say, let's challenge tradition. Let's go beyond our elements. Let's customize our lives and even if we hurt others on the way, let's hope they will seek to understand our actions than to judge us according to tradition.