Inject Filipno-ness

Phone beeps once- must be a text message.

It's from the sister.

"Ate?! Uncle Gabe's here?"


So I think my mom and her (ex?)boyfriend are talking again. Maybe it's the last thing they'll do before he leaves for the Philippines. My mom apologized for listening to her friend. Her friend was even shocked that my mom told Uncle Gabe the things she said. "You weren't supposed to tell him."

Hey, a girl can gossip, right?
At least until gossip influences the way we act...

I don't know how long he'll be around, but I'm glad he currently is. I made my usual jokes around my mom and he'd laugh whenever she didn't get it.

Anyway, we were all watching TFC together. ASAP was on - that one show where Filipino celebrities sing all these American pop songs as if it's theirs. The more I understand the American westernization in the Philippines, the more unbearable it is for me to watch shows like this.

"How can you watch this?" I asked my uncle. "It makes me cringe."

My uncle raised his eyebrows and slightly pointed his chin to my mom. He was just watching it because my mom had it on the TV.

"It's a shame," said Uncle. "We have such a beautiful culture and no one cares anymore. We just like to imitate." Uncle went on about how nothing in the Philippines is original anymore. And how the media plays a big role in it.

It was just the right timing. Excited, I shared to my uncle what my current plans are for my cultural position this semester. I told him about the first presentation I made over a week ago.

He complied and made me smile, "At least you still have Filipino in you."

Though his comment made me feel good about myself, I'm not too sure about having Filipino in me. If anything, I think I'm trying to inject Filipino-ness in me.

As a Filipina American, I feel like I've grown without my roots ever touching the ground - the very ground that helps me understand where I came from. Or at least, where those before me came from. Getting into this position has helped me find that very soil I never touched.

There are a lot of things I want to present this semester. I only hope that my findings will be eye-opening to my audience as much as it was for me.

*sigh*
And for some reason I feel like I'm not doing enough right now.