Deny My Father

Telemarketer: Hello, is Mr. Amos there?
Mom: No, he’s not available right now.
Brother: No, Mr. Amos isn’t here right now.

Telemarketer: Hello, is Mr. Amos there?
Me: No, he’s dead.


It’s been ten years. Get with the program people! What the heck are they giving telemarketers before calling residents, anyway? Obviously not an update on who’s still alive or not.

...

What an interesting time though, one decade ago...

We were still living in Yokosuka, Japan Naval base and I just started fourth grade. Took us about a year, but we were finally next in line to move off base and live on base in the towers (I always thought the towers were bigger than the townhouses). Two weeks into October 1998, my dad's carrier ship (the USS Midway - that's now a museum at Downtown San Diego) took off to sea. The next morning, they took attendance. And my dad was missing.

No where on the ship was he found.

I remember I was in the living room when one of the Chiefs on the USS Midway came to our house and told my mom our dad was missing. He said they sent a rescue crew out to sea to try and find him. My mom was devastated and immediately broke down. But I didn't. I sat next to her and faked two tears because I thought it was the right thing to do. It just didn't hit me at the time. It was all surreal.

October 19th, 1998, they officially announced that my dad's body was no where to be found.

After that, you can imagine how many prayer gatherings we had. Even then it didn't affect me. I remember being in church and just watching my mom cry.

But not even her grief affected me.

As selfish as I was, I actually became happier. The death of my dad went on the newspapers and before I knew it, I had groups of people I never really spoke to befriend me. I got pretty bitter when my mom said we could no longer be stationed in Japan. I told her I didn't want to go because I was finally making friends.

Took me a while, but three years later, I finally broke down. Especially when I realized how emotionless my mom had become. Hence, the reason why she's really good at being a provider for my siblings and I.


You know, up to this day, I still don't know what really happened to my dad.

But I do have an idea.

One night after the USS Midway sailed off to sea, there so happened to be a typhoon. Someone reported that the last time my dad was seen was on the upper deck about half an hour before midnight... You can imagine what happened from there.

By the way, I have never said to a telemarketer, "my dad’s dead" before. In fact, I rarely ever say anything to telemarketers. The moment I realize someone's advertising, I hang up. But a shocking attention getter though, huh?

For my daddy
Who taught me the multiplication table
before 1st grade.

People deserve to know you passed away.
I'll admit it
Even if sometimes mom prefers otherwise.